Sweating, nauseous and crippling right lower abdominal pain. I was out for dinner with my family, psyching myself up for a trip to the hospital, for what I thought could be the end of my appendix.
It was the most intense pain I have ever experienced. Drugs were not working, heat packs were recruited and my appetite was completely gone. Unlike me, I’m the hungry 99% of the time!
What was to come was months of scans, expensive doctors appointments and a few dismissive doctors who were convinced it was all in my head. The first scan showed an ovarian cyst, follicular and completely normal.
Side note: let me just say that having to have a full bladder for a pelvic ultrasound was extremely horrible and at one point I was convinced I was going to wet myself in the waiting room. Would have been a low point! But the most awkward part was having an ultrasound stick inserted into me, while an old man moved it around like a f*cking gear stick, trying to find my ovary (eye roll).
I was advised to wait it out for 2 months, with the hope that it would sort itself out. But after 8 weeks of hell, another scan showed that the cyst had changed shape and had a thick septum, causing the doctor to be concerned that it was becoming sinister fast. I was referred to a gyno and was booked in for surgery to remove what we thought was an ovarian cyst.
As someone who has always had a strong maternal instinct, the possibility something ruining my chances to conceive ripped the heart from my chest! Thank god for my Mother and Father, my rocks, the support was the only thing keeping me going!
All of this was going on while I was struggling to get through the second semester of my first year at university. Plus suffering from anxiety and depression, experimenting with medications to find the right ones. The fact that my Mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015, caused greater anxiety, as we were not sure whether I possessed the BRCA gene.
Looking back at the last part of 2016 I have learnt a lot about myself, especially my resilience. I think that life constantly throws shit at you and you have to try your best to dodge it and but its ok to get hit, as long as you get back up and start running again.