Dilemma…… just one of many……

As I write this, I am sitting in front of the love of my life….. the $59 fan from Bunnings, which has been a bloody god send! You have no idea how excited I am to have these implants over with! But you also don’t know how terrified I am to get to menopausal age….. because I know exactly what to expect! Blessing and a curse.

To control my hot flushes, oestrogen was prescribed. Let me just tell you that walking into the chemist with a script for oestrogen tablets and a cold did not do my situation any favours! Poor pharmacist looked at me, then at the script, for ages! All I could think was “He probably thinks I’m trans!!!!” He even had to ring the doctor, to make sure that this husky voiced, young lady was 100% meant to be on these tablets.

I was thinking “great, no more hot flushes!” as I took the first tablet. I was partly right, the hot flushes eased, but I reckon I could have been mistaken for a marshmallow! Pale and chubby! It was as if zoladex and my antidepressants weren’t causing me to gain weight quick enough and good old oestrogen jumped in to speed things up! So here I was facing a dilemma…… I mean I have multiple a day, but this one nearly needed a pros and cons list!

Do I:

a) Keep taking the oestrogen to alleviate the hot flushes and accept my fate as the up and coming Michelin woman? (coming to tv screens near you).


b) Stop taking the oestrogen tablets, control the weight, but become a walking fireball?

I chose plan b…… I really don’t know if that was the appropriate decision, all for the sake of a little vanity? It has really got me thinking…. did I really just put my weight and my appearance above my health? I guess it all came down to the fact that I am a single twenty year old female, who felt the need to be slim to attract a man…… WTF was I thinking!!!!

I have come to the realisation that if a male cannot accept me at the moment, at my lowest, he definitely doesn’t deserve me at my best! Someone will pop up and accept my chubby, pimply face……


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