Surrogacy…… something I definitely didn’t think I would be writing about. I always had this perfect idea in my head of being pregnant and birthing my own babies, experiencing what my fellow sisters go through on a daily basis.
It came as no shock to me that with active lupus (and anti-double stranded DNA levels out of this world), one ovary, half a uterus and an extremely low hormone level (egg level), surrogacy may be the only chance of having biological children. I honestly thought I would be 30, married and have my life in order before children even crossed my mind, but how I was wrong, because that is in my face everyday.
When my rheumatologist started rambling on about surrogacy, I really didn’t take much notice. I kind of brushed off his comments because that isn’t his area of expertise. But when having a conversation with my amazing gynaecologist, she mentioned I was welcome to try to carry a child when the time is right, but surrogacy may be safest for me and for a child. I trust this woman with my life, so I came to accept her advice pretty quickly.
So here I was, thinking about what the rheumatologist said “pick a friend with the pelvis the size of a truck”, I cannot stop laughing to myself about this comment, because I don’t think friends would appreciate me picking their body on the size of their pelvis! When the time comes, asking someone to ruin their lady parts and carry a human that isn’t theirs, is a HUGE ask….. don’t worry ladies, hopefully I can pay for a reconstruction!
Surrogacy talk struck a cord with me…. now it takes a lot to make me scared or sad these days, but I may have had a slight moment of weakness and let a few tears flow. I think it was a feeling of failure, a feeling that I am not a woman….. which is ridiculous, but you can’t help but feel this way when your body is unfit to carry or conceive a child.
I have also been given the green light to start egg collection…. so stayed tuned for hormone fuelled me, complaining about having to inject myself everyday…. which isn’t that bad, I’m just a wimp.
So here I am, the next Kim Kardashian, but don’t worry guys, I won’t be getting involved in any adult films or getting booty implants anytime soon…. but if Kayne has any rapper friends???